When doing nothing irritates people

You know you're the worst, when everything you do irks someone,
Even by doing NOTHING at all, it will still invoke people's suspicion.

Sorry, I'm not perfect and can't stay the way you always wanted me to be.
Why do I even bother anyway?
But at least I know now, no apologies is really true,
People will just turn around and do it again.
Because they can get away by apologizing all over again.
I don't wanna dwell in this vicious cycle,
So screw it, if there's nothing real in this world,
I'll just use everything and anything I can.
Because I know "sorry" is the magical words that made people feel better, at least I did,
Then I will turn around and screw everything up again.
I am not a bitter person, but thanks for making me.
Maybe now I can fit a little better in this bull people are calling "reality".
The "reality" where people just suck it all up because "there are nothing we can do" so they can sleep sound at night.

I'm just a kid, that's why I'll still having these nightmares,
I will still cry and bleed, rebel and hurt,
I might feel irritated, and sometimes I might be self centered, but I don't lash out on people,
So what is the mentality when people are all "What's wrong with you?",
When you're absolutely doing nothing at all?
Then suddenly it's me lashing out, because I didn't do anything, brilliant.
This has reached the point when I said I will never went emotional against anything,
People snorts and I know they don't believe me.
Maybe I did, but not to the matter on hand,
It's high chance that I'm just annoyed when people assumed I'm mad.
Again, I'm a kid, I'm easily influenced,
My little brain mostly probably went "You want me mad? I can be mad."
But put a knife to your conscience, is it not every time I kept telling you "nothing happened",
Yet you assumed I'm at emotional outburst here? Did I really lashed out on you though?
What is your mentality when you want me to be mad?
I couldn't decide whether I should laugh or cry here.

Didn't expect to have a wall of text, rolling out.