Another Day, Another Post

Guess I could be childish as it can be.
I also don't know what's come over me, I think I just lost it,
Actually, I shouldn't be the one that says under pressure, I pretty much do nothing at all,
But why I would, someone that are proud of good emotion management, can just lost it suddenly?
Maybe, my ego is too big for me to hold, I've been keeping everything inside, so I won't show that I'm weak,
It's building up I guess, I've got to admit, I don't really have friends here,
They're just colleague that eat lunch with me together, nothing more than that really, maybe a bit of chit chat, but that's it.
We can't really talk on something well, I'm not the type that dig deeper into other's interest, just to get their favor.
A egocentric person that keeps everything to himself, huh?
You bet that describe me well, but I'm surprised for me, I'm actually thinking of apologizing,
Though it's nothing impressive, and god knows how she took it,
But I'm really glad, I dropped what my point of view always were, and able to view things differently, and realizing myself to be wrong.
I felt released.

I've been thinking lately, maybe I'm not cut out to be a, uh, modern human being?
Yeah, you can probably assume that word as a worthless human being, go ahead, laugh,
I can't really get used to doing my work, it's pretty much justified during my study days I guess.
People probably thought that I'm clever or stuff, judging from my usual behavior of NOT doing revisions properly, slack off, day and night gaming,
And still managed to get a satisfying result, when I'm in college anyway.
But before that, I had horrible results, especially in the secondary school, which I only barely got out of repeat a year situation.
This is my own assumption, maybe my way is that, I don't like to be imprisoned, I don't like being in a chore, that makes me lost interest, and eventually affect my performance.
Diploma days, I'm free to do anything that I want, got enough time for everything, and have a really free schedule,
You can say I like to do thing my own pace, I will somewhat irritated if my pace is disturbed though, I'm just that selfish bastard, another bonus for being childish.
Maybe that is why I chose doing business, sitting around all the time is definitely not for me, though Business Majors requires a lot of theoretical lectures,
I can endure them since it will useful when I went out for business someday.
I do realized that I can't just set up a business right off the bat after graduation, I must work to gain experience first.
Don't get me wrong, IBM is still a great company, and I absolutely feel joy working at a company like this,
But I guess this is not the department for me, it just so happens that this department needs people to help out, hence I'm here,
This department is pretty much Ninja Pirate Zombie Robot, everyone from every background that seemed no relation to the work at all,
I can see why during my 2 months of employment, there's already more than 5 people stopped working in this department, coincidence?
This is what happens when a department that deals mainly with human, but their bosses only look at figures, and assume their employees do not work enough,
They completely overlooked the fact that the department is deal with humans, not figures.
But I guess, it's pretty much all bosses do when they're up there?
I know it's difficult for them as well, but don't you think a meeting full of figures is kind of a buzz kill?
What's unbearable is a meeting that full of useless facts or something that will work if only they apply common sense in the first place.
If you're there you will be wondering, why they don't implementing that at the first place?
Well, RM 2800 worth of salary (For official employee, not interns), you'll almost sure to take a lot of crap anyway.

Another day passed while writing this, I guess my internship will end up, well, just here for internship.